Fulfillment

So my next-to-last post was about figuring out where I stand on things and where to find happiness, albeit a little garbled.
My next question is: how do I know what I want in a career? Do I want to make money to not be stressed or in debt that way, but stressed and a slave to my job? Or do I want to be poor and in debt and stressed over that but in love with my job?
Do I want to do something just because I'm good at it, even if it's not my favorite and I merely put up with it? (i.e. math, chemistry...) Or do I want to opt out for a "fluffy" major, like English or foreign languages, or philosophy, or music, because I am captivated by those subjects, because they really make me think or inspire feeling in me...?

Harumph.
I need to figure this out this summer. I'm going to be doing a lot of reading and meditating on this stuff. I need to. I will push aside rock climbing or dorm shopping or camping trips with friends if need be.
Maybe.

If I have to resort to that.

Probably not.
However, I plan on using this blog to chronicle my discoveries, thoughts, intuitive truths, and postulates made from those truths. Don't fall asleep on me now.

In the meantime here are some butterflies:

"An intellectual is someone whose mind watches itself. I like this, because I am happy to be both halves, the watcher and the watched. "Can they be brought together?" This is a practical question. We must get down to it. 'I despise intelligence' really means: 'I cannot bear my doubts.'"~ Albert Camus

My favorite stories for Summer

http://www.nesenenko.narod.ru/bradbury119.html
http://www.scaryforkids.com/death-and-the-maiden-by-ray-bradbury/



Ray Bradbury is one of my all-time favorite writers. His stories, particularly the ones above, always make me savor my life all the more. They also make me anxious for summer. Bradbury suspends a small moment in amber, and with the utmost care, unlocks all of the emotions and possibilities in that moment. Because of his ability to use imagery symbolically, or even to use it as a means of capturing the essence of a moment, I tend to pay attention to the little things around me. I live far out in the countryside, and I never get tired of simply glancing over leaves and sky, of gazing out the window of a car and taking it all in. I never ever want to take it for granted.

"The room was like the bottom of a cool well all night and she lay 
in it like a white stone in a well, enjoying it, floating in the dark 
yet clear element of half dreams and half wakening. She felt the 
breath move in small jets from her nostrils and she felt the immense 
sweep of her eyelids shutting and opening again and again. And at last 
she felt the fever brought into her room by the presence of the sun 
beyond the hills." ~ Hopscotch, R. Bradbury

“Strange. Half my years afraid of life. The other half, afraid of death. Always some kind of afraid. You! Tell the truth, now! When my twenty-four hours are up, after we walk by the lake and take the train back and come through the woods to my house, you want to…”
He made her say it.
“… sleep with me?” she whispered.
“For ten thousand million years,” he said.
“Oh.” Her voice was muted. “That’s a long time.”
~ Death and the Maiden, R. Bradbury

Crazy

Crazy life. AP tests. Prom? Saturday? Oh yes. Senior Year. All that jazz.

I am too pumped. No worries, blog posts will be frequently popping out again ideally by mid-next-week. I will have regained sanity and will not be drooling over dresses and lipstick and the Heritage Ballroom.

...I do love dresses though. :)

"What's a royal ball? After all, I suppose it would be frightfully dull, and-and-and boring, and-and completely... Completely wonderful..." ~ Cinderella